On a Serious Note
Wow, I wasn't sure this week was going to end. And from what I gather, it's felt that way for a lot of people. Let's just all blame it on the full moon we had earlier in the week. Agreed?
Actually, I can't totally blame it on that. This might be a little too serious for Friday, but it's something I've been thinking about this week, mostly because it's what I've been dealing with - anxiety and depression.
I try to keep my blog happy, but real. So the reality is that I've battled depression and anxiety most of my life. I've been on this med and that med and realized that I don't want to be on any meds. I don't like how they can make me feel (often too numb). They never really seemed to work for me and then there were side effects like 3 weeks of vertigo and additional medication to combat that just trying to get off of one of the meds.
Anyway, I feel like I've learned to regulate my moods fairly well. When meds did work, I learned to better grasp what "normal" felt like. So then I could recognize when I was being irrational or sliding down the slippery depression slope.
I also had another form of therapy to rely on - Exercise. From ballet to weight lifting and running, it's my escape time. I don't have to think about everything. Lately, running outside often feels like an absolute life saver. Like if I can't get out there and do it, then a meltdown is going to happen, period.
This week was one of those really bad weeks for me. Do I really have to open up and tell you all? No. But, yes. Maybe some of you go through periods of anxiety and/or depression as well. I think it's something that should be discussed more openly and not seen as something negative. The more open I am about it, the more I recognize what is happening, the better I can deal with it personally. I hope that is the same for others. It's already tough, no need to go at it alone.
I was thinking about how this week played out for me. Major lows (insert crying temper tantrum fits), lots of anxiety (because I couldn't control anything) and then it evened out and I realized that reflecting on how I was feeling makes me appreciate being happy. Does that make any sense? When you're so down and you know you shouldn't be, you feel pretty helpless. So when you're happy again, you really appreciate what that feels like.
I think one thing that has helped me is to really try to always focus on something positive, no matter how hard it might be to do and even if I semi-don't believe it at the time. I know that if I work at it, if I fight for it, don't get bogged down, then I'll come out on the other side. I'll equate it to hiking a mountain. It starts off sort of easy at the base, then you hit some bumps and boulders, but once you get to the top and are able to look out over the expanse below you, you realize that it's all worth it if you accept that there will always be obstacles.
Too much for Friday? Then How about a little Fun Facts Friday silliness:
Fun (hello, it is Friday)
Rest (much-needed rest day)
Ice (what I plan on doing to my heel tonight)
Delayed (as in takes too long to get here)
Achy (yep, sore from yesterday's workout)
And some totally random facts:
I put in my right earring first.
I put on my left shoe first.
I take off my right shoe first.
I double/triple check that the alarm is on.
I sometimes still worry about monsters under the bed.
When I cry, you will know I cried for hours afterwards - red, puffy, huge nose.
I can't cry in the shower or in the bath.
I crave Blue Moon with orange wedge after long runs.
I'm ambidextrous (which is why I can easily paint my own nails).
Ok, your turn - something silly to make me smile please ;-)
Daily To-Enjoy List:
The fact that it's Friday
Happy hour with friends