I know I have probably been a little cryptic about some issues I have been going through. I didn't feel comfortable announcing everything on the blog, especially when I've complained enough about my foot and hip issues.
But, I do think that this is something important, and something many many women will go through at some point. I found a lump. My doctor checked it out and suggested I go in for a mammogram and an ultrasound. This, of course, was worrisome. I had another lump that was diagnosed as a fibroid, but she didn't think it was the same thing. So of course this scared me.
Thankfully, everything came out a-ok. But, it got me to thinking a lot about so many others who don't get good news. If you will recall my mentioning the girl I grew up with who had breast cancer and now has a brain tumor. I have several friends who's mothers have battled breast cancer.
There is a fellow blogger that you must check out. She is truly an inspiration and is dealing with so many more issues than I can even fathom and at such a young age. It all makes me rethink my complaints that's for sure.
Please go visit Krysten at The Misadventures of a Darwin Fail. She is completing a half marathon on Sunday then going in the next day to losing both breasts. As she said, "the highest high and the lowest low. I will experience half marathon glory then immediately become a Boob-less Wonder - all within about 24 hours."
There is something else I'm dealing with that could result in surgery - endometriosis. Right now the doctor is trying to treat with a progestin only pill for three months before going with the option of surgery. So, I feel like I've just had so much weighing on me recently with my foot, my piriformis, the lump, possible surgery, then just daily crap like the house repairs. I feel like I've not been myself, struggling to not be really down about it all.
I sort of feel like a fraud too. So many say how proud you are of my attitude towards my injuries, but deep down, I want to just give up, throw a bigass fit, cry, scream yell, be flat out pissed. I want to mope around and feel sorry for myself. Be a bid old baby. <---I always said I'd be honest.
However (and I have to remind myself this often), I know that being super stressed, depressed, down in the dumps does no good. Plus, I have to put things into perspective, check myself (constantly). I am still able to be active. In reality, I'm in good health over all. There are so many others who are not so lucky.
Another blogger recently did a post that really hit home for me. Through all of this I have started to really nitpick myself. I'm seeing every flaw, every ripple, dimple or jiggle. It's not healthy at all, and it's not rational either. But it's so easy to get into a downward spiral of self-doubt. So, when I read this post by Elena at Just. Be. Enough, I definitely paused. Could I come up with a list of things I loved about myself? Yes, I could when I stopped with the negativity.
I thought I might do this for a Fun Facts Friday Post, but I thought it was more appropriate for a Thankful Thursday kind of post.
Things I Like About Me
My arms - yes, I've worked damn hard to make them shapely and strong. But they also allow me to hug those I love.
My hair color - when I was a kid I hated being called "red." But now, I realize how unique my hair color truly is. It's all natural, all mine.
My itty bitty boobies - yep, I wanted bigger ones at one point. Now? Not a chance. They are what they are and they are mine.
My sensitivity - yes, I can definitely be overly-sensitive. Sometimes to a fault perhaps. But, I like that I can empathize with others, I feel that it makes me more understanding and better able to really care, to feel. It can hurt like hell, but I'd rather that than being numb.
My stubbornness - not everyone would agree that this is one of my better traits. Being stubborn can be a hinderance of course, but it can also be a positive. I am definitely determined and will find a way to make something happen when I set my mind to it.
What I would love is for each of you to take a minute and think about the things you like about yourself. Of course I'd love for you to share with me, or maybe make it into a post. If nothing else, perhaps remind yourself of the things you like rather than the things you don't.
Daily To-Enjoy List:
- Warm weather
- Easy dinner (stir-fry prepped yesterday)