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Scarves and Self-Doubt

Not only do I make the metal-stamped jewelry now, I also make arm-knit scarves. Yeah, it was another one of those, "Hey, I totally can do that" moments. I have a lot of those apparently. Some I follow through with better than others.

I think I get this trait from my parents. A double whammy dose of "I can do it!" So I jump in with both feet. All in man. All in. Until I burn out or get frustrated. Then I'm on to the next thing. I've done it with baking and selling dog treats to scrap booking for pleasure. I have all the craft bags, supplies and cookie cutters to prove it.

Back to the scarves ... I got off track. Once I had the idea in my head that I was going to learn how to make these scarves, there was no holding me back. I rushed over to the craft store to stock up on yarn. I wanted all the colors, all the textures. I had coupons, too. So that meant I could buy even more right? Yep.

After I made my first scarf, I quickly made another. Then I decided I could make yet another as a gift for a friend. I was on a roll. I had grandiose ideas of selling these awesome creations. I could just picture it in my head. Sitting around, making these beauties and everyone wanting one.


Again, I can be a dreamer. But then I put the brakes on. Hold up, what if they aren't good enough. What if they aren't high quality. Will people think it's some sort of joke? What if someone buys it then it falls apart ... What if, what if, what if.

And you know what, upon reflection, those are the thoughts I have about myself. It's not just what I was making, it was me. Am I good enough? Am I high quality? Do people think I'm a joke? It's interesting how hobbies can often reflect something going on inside ourselves. Maybe I'm making more out of it than it truly is. But I don't think I am. I see this pattern within myself. The enthusiasm, then the doubt. Self sabotage.

However, I am going against the screaming voices of doubt. I'm still putting the scarves out there. I still make and sell them. In fact, I even learned how to finger-knit so that I could make ear warmers to match. Maybe it's OK to have that fear, the doubt. It's how we handle it that counts.

For now, making the scarves is a bit of "beach" time. It's relaxing. It's rewarding. There's something to be said for creating something with your hands - or in this case, arms.

"The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt" ~ Sylvia Plath

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