Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Trying to Just Breathe

Last Tuesday I mentioned that I had a stress fracture, or a possible stress fracture pending MRI confirmation. Well, Thursday I went in for my MRI. Friday morning I got a call from my doctor's office. I was told it was a fracture in my 3rd metatarsal and that they wanted me to come in and get the dreaded boot.

I only met with the nurse, and not the doctor unfortunately. So I really only know what she told me. I have no idea on the severity of the fracture. And I was simply told to come back in 3 weeks for a re-check.

Of course I have questions after the fact that I didn't think about the day of. I don't know if I'm supposed to be sleeping in it, hope not because I'm not. I don't know if it's ok to go for a walk with it on. I have.

Though, walking isn't easy. There is a good 2 1/2 to 3 inches discrepancy when I wear the boot and my other foot. This means walking is really cumbersome unless I have on a wedge shoe of some sort on my left foot. And I don't exactly feel like wearing around dress shoes in the evening around the house. I feel like everything is being thrown off. The left side of my lower back hurts, my left hip hurts. I feel like a total mess.

I keep waiting to sort of be ok with all this. I'm not though. I am finding myself depressed and angry at the same time. The weather here has turned spring-like and I can't go out for a run to enjoy it. I can barely walk and enjoy it without hurting (not my foot, but all the out of whack muscle stuff I just mentioned).

I have been doing some full-body workouts combining multiple moves to help increase my heart rate (think thrusters). But I can't do anything with any sort of impact or anything that causes me to have to bend my foot at the metatarsal area, so not even beginner mountain climbers, no rear lunges, no modified burpees even because it causes me to have to bend my toes.

My appetite doesn't seem to want to cooperate with me either. I'm hungry as if I were still working out as I am used to doing. I keep waiting for my body to get on board with that piece, but it's not. And I don't do hungry well ;-)

I did get this gift from two amazing friends. They sent it to try to help me through all of this. I have been wearing it daily and am trying really hard to comply with these two simple words: Just Breathe.


I know that in the grand scheme of everything, this is so very, very minor. It truly is. I know this. I know that there are others struggling with so much more in their lives. Some who may never run again, loss, greater illnesses. A fractured foot pales.

And I recognize that I will be back to running, that this is just a blip in the road, that I'll come back stronger in the end. I know all of this of course. It's still not easy though.